test is coming up next wk!and all the best...nothing much is touched...on mon and tue i kind of chiong abit...and thats it..after that i seems like energy totally drained...even until today still like tat...my brain is like drifting off to duno wat land...omg...how??!!

still feeling damn sleepy now...think is the after effect of not sleeping for a day..or at least maybe just 1hr of sleep/nap.lol...the camp was fun...seniors rocks!!!haha...really after they left i think i m not going to attend gc anymore...

yesterday was actually in a very reluctant mood to go for camp(even though the camp starts on fri)...because i kind of assumed it will be damn bored,somemore i m tired from waking up early to go jogging..in the end i still left my house and buy some snacks and go take a bus. while crossing the road to bus stop...one auntie kind of scold me.i was like???and the reason for her to scold me is cause i nv press the traffic light button...and i actually pressed at least 5 times but just tat she nv see...watever lor...dun bother.lol...

when i reach the sch, happen to see one grp of the seniors waiting for the juniors to come play games.the number of juniors that come down is lesser than the seniors.lol...weird lor...then we had dinner and then have night walk.the seniors are so bored that all of us formed a grp to play...and we like super high kind and very competitive spirit..see wat ever team like following us we start running..lol...damn tiring lor...run from one end of sch to another for many times...12clues in total..and walk in dark and all when half of us got slight night blindness...lol...and in the end we won!!!haha..cos we got alot of pple tats y..can split to find clues..lol

after tat,we went to bathe..then the senior girls all went to girls dorm and picnic and chit chat..haha..snacks tat we thought might last us for the whole night while chatting ended up only last for 30min...the night walk really drain us like hungry ghost...lol..then after tat some slept and some continue chatting..me and sharifah was the one that dun feel sleepy so we end up going out of the room..then suddenly duno y...happen to saw someone who like sleep until damn funny pose...he told us to wake him at 530am and it was abt 5am when we saw the way he slept.all the chair was on him(he placed them on his own).lol..damn funny la..so sharifah sneaked in, use rafia string to tie his legs together and also clip his hair.my another fren placed dustbin near that guy and also flour on his hands and face...lol..we like observing him outside the dorm like as if he is an animal...lol..he smear all the flour on his face while sleeping la..and when i wake him up at 530am,he scolded me like i intrude his house or something..and also take sharifah as his mum...lol..damn funny.in the end we didn't get to wake him up.

we went to brush our teeth then go and watch sun rise...some other pple also join in..haha..the breeze was nice...damn fun sia the whole night..we sat till abt 7am, then go back to dorm.actually only wan rest, we ended up sleeping...i woke up abt 8am, walk out and saw everyone who did not sleep last night fell asleep.lol..everyone was tired...and i go see that guy being pranked...guess he woke up some time..and i heard from him the string broke so he did not feel it...but it was damn funny la..the way he ans.i shall not elaborate cos damn long.haha..after tat i had bread for breakfast and went home..bathe and rest till abt 1230pm then i went to sleep till 530pm...lol...muscles aching like mad sia..need massage already...hehe..

super late now!shall go sleep already!!!

saw this video just as i abt to sleep...abit funny...lol...though there seems to be like language barrier..but the pronunciation is good:D

today go back gc....atmosphere really damn awkard, make me more determined to quit guitar...most prob i guess after colours of the wind and thats it...unless the next song is something i m interested to as well...really damn difficult to play la...super fast lor...wth...

tml going to go out to makan and buy all the stuff i need..have not been going out for quite some time, because i m lazy and also tired.well..hope i can get them tml, so i can kind of rest and stuff like tat...also to lighten up my mood la...but i m damn broke sia..tuition cancelled already means no more income for me monthly...even if it is a meagre amt of money...lol..

alrights.seriously my eyes cannot take it any more...need go and sleep first..think i m going to start talking nonsense soon

i m really upset now and i m giving up on these already...it is really tiring..i tried to help, but ended up being "hurt"...now i m not going to trust anyone already...at least not so easily...i seriously duno how to speak to any of those ppl any more.talking to them is like as if i m talking others too...words are spreading and spreading.i just meant for one to hear, and it is spreaded to others.my fear of trust with others have already been starting before this incident, and now this have put on a heavier blow for me...

now it is really hard for me to put my trust on any one already-->especially guys...they are the one who break the trust...not in the sense of relationship, but friendship...it seems like any thing that i tell a guy fren about,no matter wat is being directly "copy and paste" not even rephrased and even being told from here to there...just telling someone to keep a secret issit tat diff?

i m really super confused and tired of all these...keeping of secrets or knowing of so many secrets is indeed tiring.you know something but yet you cannot say something because you promised it and you shouldn't break the trust.however,you have to keep thinking of how to speak to others because you cannot say the secret. at times you even have to keep the secret because you know the secret will hurt some one....damn...i really duno wat to do...i m really tired of all of this...

have been trying to blog these few days..but always busy in the midnight because many things have happened recently...haiz...

seriously, i now wonder who are really the true friends around you, who are the one at the back supporting you or even backstab you, who can help you keep your secrets. recently, someone that I know of have started to spark some kind of "war" on fb. seriously...is between a guy and a girl..just because of a comment on fb which is not intended for one party...and the guy threatened the girl and scold her. she tried to ignore it...and the guy keep taunting her for watever reason. she ignored again, then he revealed her secrets,wat she gossip about, trying to make things difficult for her and even spoil her friendship with others and even implicate the innocent ones in...i duno for wat reason but it seems like he 吃饱没事做. He do until pple start asking the girl to report to the police cos it is like threatened until her life is at sake..who noes wat the hell he will do. now he deleted the post on his wall and say that he knew it was some misunderstanding but expected the girl to INITIATE the apology...it was him who is making the things overboard..i mean ya,both party is at fault, but shouldn't the one who start stirring all the trouble be the one who apologise first...it is freaking irritating.

it kind of scares me as i m also a fren of that guy...luckily not close and have a little bad blood with him...but no secrets shared with him so kind of lucky...but i wonder y he must put on fb and let everyone noe...y can't he settle it personally...it is spoiling his and the girl's image. wats more, he also scold or threaten the pple that interfere with this...is like wth??

all of these are sending chills down my spine...especially when this few months i m having some periods of doubts with the friendship with pple....now i really start to doubt nearly everyone around me, even though i should not do so as it is really unfair to those who treat me truely, truely as a friend, someone to talk and share things with. haiz...

yesterday my uncle got admitted to hospital...due to swelling of his intestine...not really sure of the situation as my mum nv say much...but heard that this thing is nothing much of serious so i guess it is ok...

duno wat to do now...shall just stone in front of com...

yes!all ended already...finally all is over...the test and work that i m supposed to hand in before the holidays are kind of done...shall slack as much as possible tonight...actually wanted to slack for the whole of this wk..but i still have to complete my proj report and some other homework...so...haiz...shall just plan my schedule tml then see how.cos i m seriously tired...like a computer after working for long finally breakdown and blank out..lol...i need time to clear my 'hard disk/drive'.lol

i seriously irritated pharmaceutical analysis...something is against me or wat...the results are not wat i expected for nearly like 4wks...wth!!!redo and redo but it is still like shit..cannot imagine i still have to survive for another 4wks of it when sch reopen, with the percentage of the project with quite a little high weightage (each abt 20% i guess?so total 40%)

super tired now...and i have spent abt 1-2hr updating this post because i m busy msning...lol..after writing part of my schedule, realise my whole of next wk is fully packed..there goes my studies and break...lol..

need to go organise my stuff now.

first post of june...haha...finally the long awaiting weekend break!o gosh...really super waiting for this.

just woke up from my nap.haven't been feeling well for the past few days.think i nv had enough rest that's y...like as if stretched myself after the BP test on wednesday.shall take the net few days to recuperate i guess...

alot of things have been happening...wanted to type alot on the blog...but think i will forget along the way.

shall start with wat happen today.early in the morning, and went for the presentation for corporate culture.practiced for a few times the previous night and happen that i can present today without looking at one single bit of my script...quite amaze with myself.lol..but i m shivering when i start but slowly get better...but then in the end the teacher said i rush like a bullet train...o wells..haha..shall see wat is her comment next wk.lol.and well, practically after the presentation is the typical fri,ebm tut, then followed by BP tut and ebm lecture.only thing diff is just no drug store duty.hehe..took nap during the break time as i m seriously like lacking of sleep.then after sch, i boarded bus with sharifah.talk alot of secrets and stuff...both of us have been like talking about this since sch reopen..haha..perhaps cos we are in cca together more or less the bonding will be closer?then after that i went to heartland to get ding ding candy for my tutee as promised and walked home...rested all the way till now cos i have a high chance i m going to break down with fever or something soon...

talking about cca...this few weeks are kind of tormenting for me...i duno y...something seems to have happened within the committee...and i m those type tat will help cos it affected some of my close frens and also i m in previous committee so more or less i feel responsible for this batch.however...it seems like whatever i did was not appreciated and was even being accused for not doing somethings when i was not even told abt it, and also as if i caused them to be in trouble with the SA officer. for example they lost the key, and they nv report to SA(very impt) and plan to hide from them, hoping to duplicate. I told them it was of no point as the key are special and each had a code, and it seems like they dun bother to listen or something, and borrowed from BB primers, whom we share the room with. But they nv noe that someone actually found the key and pass to SA, just tat SA is waiting for pple to own up,but none of them did. one front counter officer was saying that he will not report to our cca officer abt this if we own up, but apparently, our officer kind of knew beforehand. i went to meet our officer before she meet up with the committee to talk abt some problems and stuff,and she invited me to their meeting...i was not invited by any of the current committee...hence since my officer kind of show like she noe everything that is happening(i duno how she get the news), i guess some of the committee thought i was the one that reveal their secrets and stuff,and they kind of ignored me for the practice.i kind of feel very irritated cos i m not the one that say anything abt them yet i m like the bad person. damn it...i really feeling like stopping cca already.anyway i shall miss cca next wk.since i m having test on thu...just use tat as an excuse...damn the watever "if you have the will to come, you will have a way". y the hell i will want to go if i m treated like this.

anyways, study break is coming in a weeks time...after the DISC presentation on monday and also pharmacotherapy test on thu. arranged with my sis to go out one day...go G2000 buy my attachment clothes,go cotton on, and maybe bras bersah for the new shop.haha...maybe also watch a movie or something?feel like going out on a treat that day but i guess she will stop me..haiz..cos my stomach problem is really back...i m going on a low carbohydrates diet...damn it...i will seriously miss my white rice..my sushi!!my pizza..all my fav food.haiz...

my sis is already planning wat to do for her bday...lol..but for the convenience of my grandma, we have no choice but to have a buffet at my house.lol..think my house will be super duper pack thanks to her...lol...

o god...i feel like swimming!!!but must wait till i get well:(