the 3 days of stress is finally off...is like a heavy load of thing is being removed from my shoulder.

well, i am suppose to be feeling happy.however, it is exactly the opposite. after the concert ended, i have really learnt a lot, and also felt alot. this concert really makes me think alot, whether i m up to standard in my leading. i have been leading the cca for nearly 8 months, and i m going to end my term soon as i would like to hand over as early as possible, so as to the next batch of committee will have more time to plan, not like my batch.

during the concert, especially the day right before the concert, something happen, which gave me a great impact and left me a scar. a not so confident person....after that incident...what shall happen to me?i guess i shall jolly well hide in my own shell. i really think i have changed alot this yr...i m getting more and more lost. i m losing my own self. where have the old me gone to?where?i really want it back, the me that is cheerful, not being affected much by the outer world. what is exactly happening to me...i really duno..this yr i have been breaking down and weeping by myself much more time,the most time out of my whole life,not even my family know about it. i really duno who to turn to,what on earth should i do....even the people that know me,but seldom see me,notice the change...that i m not as cheerful as before,everytime see me,my face is moodless,sadness and stressfulness..i m really sick and tired of acting as if nothing happen to the people around me...but at the same time i do not want them to worry about me...

i really wish i can become more independent and solve the problems on my own,or at least my psychological barrier...i have tried very hard, but it is bringing back my bad memories and pain...what should i do...i really duno...