Tuesday, January 05, 2010
so crap.today i was supposedly not having any lessons.but i still have to go back to school to settle cca stuff.
at first,i thought i have settled and done everything.however,the officer came and give some ideas and comments, which i have to give her the reply.super crap.i was still thinking of passing to the next batch of committee to let them meet the officer.i swear i will try not to step much into the room next time.like stepping on some bomb like tat...make me need to think so much...my brain really kind of lazy to work now
i suddenly think like my management got problem lor...is like...i duno...i seems to be unable to spread leadership job out evenly.today the talk with officer,it sounds like other clubs are doing much better than me.is like...i really duno lor..haiz
this wk and next wk will be a busy week for me.hopefully till end of next wk.i will be somewat freed!yes!really.i m very very excited and anticipating for tat day to come.tat freedom tat i will be having hopefully soon.when can i get them though?
haha...talking abt it..today kind of learn some music theory and guitar skills from naz.lol..nothing to do in clubroom,dun wan go home so learn something lor.haha.at least not a waste to go sch.lol
saw a show with this quote:如果人的记忆只能选择一秒钟的额度，那就是这一刻。
我的那一刻在哪里呢？
Monday, January 04, 2010
damn lame..i have just went nearly to school and just came back home but going to school again later-_-
10am:received sms that there will not be any lessons for this wk.was super happy though abit sian as i in the end still have to go back to sch to settle cca stuff. left all my lessons stuff at home and went out with
1030am:just board the bus
1050am:received sms that i cannot get a video and the amp.so wats the point of me going sch?
11am:received sms that there is lab. have no choice but to alight from bus to go opposite to board and go home. because i need my lab stuff and i nv wear shoes.
haiz..damn sian...lucky i got bus pass.if not i wan kill pple le...now go take a rest first before going back to school:)
just saw one person's blog...feel kind of sad actually,as i have just met her today.but yet she actually kind of have the distant feeling for some time.well,in the sense of which friendship to priortise, because she have too many friends and clique.well, it is quite true for me too(as in the thought of having too many friends). at certain times, when people were to ask you out, your life seems to be so pack because u do not know who to go out with.you really feel like maintaining all friendship but it seems difficult.
well, i dun think i will priortise as whoever friend ask me out and if i m able to make it, i will confirm give up my time to them. however, by reading tat post, it make me feels kind of sad and lonely,one main reason is because i m scared of losing her as a friend, losing my friendship with her. She is actually kind of my friend since long(like pri 5) and we are kind of close(at least before we enter poly/jc life) as we live quite close and hang out often. but it seems tat after we enter poly/jc,we kind of distant out cos of our different timing, school...it seems like no common topic/daily life tat is similar. and from tat post...i duno y but have the institution tat the friendship between us might break someday, most probably when we start entering the working society.
even though as people says, we have to move on,we can continue making new friends and etc, but i m someone who cherish things alot.even some rubbish from somewhere,as long as there is a meaning to it(my own logic),i will still keep it even if pple think it is useless and etc,even when it might rot i will still keep unless maggots grow out of it(ok...kind of gross)...haha...but really...i hope i can still maintain contact and friendship with all the people around me...haha..duno if i m affected by the movie i watched today.even dogs can have such a strong bond.y not humans...ok...it may sounds abit wrong.(anyway mio tv is kind of awesome...though movie is outdated, but some is really historic and nice...worth watching:])
this post is kind of out of point and messy...but..haha...tats wat come out from my brain...duno how to rephrase already...tired i guess?
actually wanted to post a long post for today...cos i bet i will hardly have time to do so as school is reopening tml...damn short man...is like i only practically enjoy 3 days of my holidays.cos majority have to do work. like even now...haiz...
alright..i need go pack my bag for sch and also do work...post other time
Friday, January 01, 2010
today...super no mood to do work, but still did as i HAVE to...forced myself to do..which is the reason y i m still up so late in the night...lol...wat to do..have to face such a weird topic for my project. really cracking my brains out.
afternoon did pharmacotherapy...not as difficult as i expected...haha...as easy as what singyi said...hehe...but i still dilly dally...therefore i m late for tuition...lol...now like getting more and more sick of teaching or working/going out...suddenly feel like cooping myself up at home...haha...something is wrong with my brain recently...
o wells, shall end with a video today!something that i m kind of addicted...haha...kyuhyun is so sweet!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
i duno issit because both of us are some wat alike, but really many times when things happen to us,we tend to react the same way. that is why when this thing happen to me,and with u talking to me,becoming my listening ear, i really feel more relieved...just with you talking to me for half an hour...like nearly all my stress is gone...i m really glad to have u as my friend, expecially in cca where tat is the place where i felt the most stressful and uncertain. u really calm me down and encouraged me alot...i m really grateful for all that you have said to me...that made my day alot!THANK YOU JIN WEN!!!:D
the 3 days of stress is finally off...is like a heavy load of thing is being removed from my shoulder.
well, i am suppose to be feeling happy.however, it is exactly the opposite. after the concert ended, i have really learnt a lot, and also felt alot. this concert really makes me think alot, whether i m up to standard in my leading. i have been leading the cca for nearly 8 months, and i m going to end my term soon as i would like to hand over as early as possible, so as to the next batch of committee will have more time to plan, not like my batch.
during the concert, especially the day right before the concert, something happen, which gave me a great impact and left me a scar. a not so confident person....after that incident...what shall happen to me?i guess i shall jolly well hide in my own shell. i really think i have changed alot this yr...i m getting more and more lost. i m losing my own self. where have the old me gone to?where?i really want it back, the me that is cheerful, not being affected much by the outer world. what is exactly happening to me...i really duno..this yr i have been breaking down and weeping by myself much more time,the most time out of my whole life,not even my family know about it. i really duno who to turn to,what on earth should i do....even the people that know me,but seldom see me,notice the change...that i m not as cheerful as before,everytime see me,my face is moodless,sadness and stressfulness..i m really sick and tired of acting as if nothing happen to the people around me...but at the same time i do not want them to worry about me...
i really wish i can become more independent and solve the problems on my own,or at least my psychological barrier...i have tried very hard, but it is bringing back my bad memories and pain...what should i do...i really duno...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
tml school holidays OFFICIALLY started...kind of only. having school for the first 3days.all because of the concert.argh...really feel damn tensed out.somemore the first day of practice, there is some soft skill training that clashed with my cca training/rehearsals.haiz...cannot wait for concert to pass.then at least i more or less will have lesser pressure.because only left my handover ceremony!yes!!!:Dthis yr really time pass very fast.perhaps because my schedule is quite packed thats y...have been a president for nearly a yr.thats really long.from the start of uncertainty,now much better.though i still do not feel i m doing that well,and have times that i wanted to give up.but because of the people around me tat keep motivating me,it gives me the encouragement and the strength to strive on. i am really glad to have them around me.really grateful
next, after the hand over i must start to find a job.have been spending quite a lot but not earning any.shall find one during my next 6wks holidays!since my responsibilities are kind of removed. and while working, i really need to think about the directions in my life.wat i really wanted. till now i really dun have any idea what do i want to work as.or at least if i can further studies,what can i do.actually i planned to go under medicine.but now with what i have learned, it make me feel kind of terrified.worse of all,can i even get a placing there?people from my course have difficulties to even further their studies in that area(eg. pharmacy) and yet i m aiming much higher when my gpa is nothing that great.haiz.but should i do?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
super tired...eyes are heavy and closing..have been having insufficient sleep this few days(things dropping on my head, bad posture causing aches on neck)...somemore with test..so omg..haha
tests just ended...majority of the paper is a killer-->because i never study.LOL
what to do...i really cannot pay attention.see one slide, start to daydream...haiz..wats wrong with my brain man...
another thing tat sadden me...on sunday when i go check on my guitar, or wan play la..then saw one damn huge crack.damn jia lat..really cry.cos heartache sia..$200 u noe!that time was my edusave bursary money..haha..then go ask instructor today.he say my guitar still can play.majority is only polish crack,not wood.heng lor.but one thing that 'pissed' me off,he said:your guitar crack le sounds nicer...-_-..wth!haha
alrights...tml going to play whole day com...or wii..haha..mio tv coming!!shall watch movie too..but that means i cannot play computer..haha..plan tml la.see mood..
anyway,someone is going malaysia liao le lor...haha...enjoy her life le lor..not like me suffering in spore...haha...wish her 一路顺风！！
Friday, December 11, 2009
having flu and headache now...wth...just took a nap...quite long nap though.lol..2-3hrs nap...make up for the time tat i missed the past few days...argh...at this state how to even study..haiz...
alrights..shall go take a rest...should be MIA for a week or two due to upcoming concert too
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